my brother and bieber

This is one of those once-in-a-thousand occurrences resulting from the coming together of two or more unrelated and unfortunate elements.

1. It just happened that my sister, the ultimate audiophile, somehow found a liking for Bieber. Because he sounds like a girl (My sister digs childish men voices).

2. She also has the habit of burning her newest favourites into a disc every two weeks or so (kinda like her personal Billboard Top 100) and playing them in the car when we go on family trips.

3. My brother, who is 13, picked up 'Fuck' from his friends.

So 'Baby' was playing in the car with my siblings squealing at the top of their voices. As you know, Bieber is catchy. Backseat singing ftw. All the way to Sakae Sushi! ("Baby baby ohhhh!")

At Sakae Sushi, they would take turns to break out into song.* ("My first love! Broke my heart for the first time!")

Then after a while they got bored, and started singing solemn choral versions. ("Baaaaaaaaaaby baaaaaaaby baaaaaaaby Ohhhhhhhhhhh~")

After a while they decided to do the rap part instead. ("When I was 13, I had my first love. Yo.")

Then they did presidential versions. ("When! I was 13. I! Had my First Love.")

Finally we were laughing so hard till my brother said: "When I was 13! I had my first Fuck."

Cues maniacal giggling from brother.

Cues shocked silence from the rest of the table, and possibly, two tables down the line.

"Do you know what fuck means?"

"It's the same as ji bai or kana-ji!"

Being the evil one, I said: "Fuck means boy and girl have sex."

"Then what's motherfucker?"

Cues random deaths in a 2m-radius area around said perpetrator.

(My brother is going to be very entertaining for a couple of years.)

* to avoid accusations for lack of integrity, I admit me was singing too.

mishmash to revive

(Shan't let May go by without a single post!)

Heard this at dinnertime. Apparently, my dad had this heated discussion with a bunch of his golfing friends on whether the Earth is round. Imagine: a bunch of pot-bellied dudes of every Mediacorp's-old-faggot-who-is-a-businessman stereotype conceivable.

Ah Kam, who happens to be knowledgeable in electricity and Tesla/Faraday shit, thinks it's impossible. ("What about those on the sides and bottom? They'll feel like they are upside down!")

Ah Loo agrees with my dad that the Earth is round. ("Why not? I think the Earth is jagged. Like the steps in a plantation! So everyone is essentially still upright.")

Amazing how people can forget Primary School gravity! But then again, I don't suppose the shape of the Earth is going to affect how much they're going to earn in the next week. Hurhur.