I am quiet and shy and quiet.

It seems so strange that I should be given a (mostly) positive appraisal for my speech o.o Honestly, I was coldsweating for COM205 because I've always known myself to be the classic quiet wallflower who can speak to a crowd only when the crowd is made up of ants. It's almost a violation of my internal logic that I can actually appear to be a decent speaker. It's just wrong.

Or maybe I got lucky.

Or maybe it's in my teacher's secret manual that thou shalt be nice to those without confidence because oh ho, that's what they need. Encouragement. Loads and loads of carrots (to Jiani: don't you start).

I'm not sure if I should be experiencing some epiphany of newfound confidence, because I don't, really.

(Here's a call for more alien sightings! I promise there would be no image management involved.)

magic of not-so-good singing

Here. Better than some random (decently skilled) American Idol wannabe.

This makes me happy too.

tinted glasses of warm hues

signs:

I sing old Sinatra favourites in the shower (as opposed to composing depressing verses while I stare darkly at a bar of Dettol soap).
I actually publish stuff on my blog (because it is not emo and thus can escape the fate of being a draft for eternity).
I can name food which would make me feel happy to consume. (In the emo days I just don't eat.)

I feel skippingly happy for no good reason.

the clincher: I grin even while listening to my personal weakness on repeat.

I think I've lived long enough to realise that I am amazingly predictable. There are the periods of random emoing/moping about. Then, with no discernable trigger whatsoever, I snap back to a strange jovial self which scares me. It's so bad I can find a horror film funny. I can look at old couples sharing food and think they are cute. I have to resist sudden urges to put my arms around huggable objects in my vicinity o.o (image!! image!!!)

The worst part: I wake up in the morning with a grin on my face. *dies*

It's this period when I am extremely forgiving of people and incredibly susceptible to nice behaviour towards others, so enjoy it. While it lasts.

2010 resolutions

Buy a padlock and chain my wallet to my body.

Qualify for entry into male toilets so that I won't ever have to queue to pee.

genetic explanation for any anti-social tendencies I might display

Got locked out of my own house for half an hour while my entire family was home o.o

The main door is locked only at bedtime, but today my parents were just too lazy and bolted it early with the intention of camping in their room for the entire night.

My sister was, as always, securely bound to the computer via Bose TriPort headphones with amazing sound-cancelling properties.

My brother was Youtubing. On my bed.

No one could hear the doorbell. No one could hear my knocks. Everyone could hear the phone ringing but no one picked up because
1. he/she is not expecting any calls tonight, so logically
2. this call is for Dad / Mum / Sis / Bro so
3. he/she is too lazy to pick it up, hence
4. he/she just waits for someone else to do it, and
5. I make six unanswered calls

Eventually I took out my mac, nestled myself among the shoes, got on the wireless and played Amateur Surgeon. (Until my sister decided it was a warm day and tried to get more ventilation.)

2010

Watched Amélie for the fourth time and was reminded that I do have a pair of tinted glasses, warmly hued, somewhere. No more moping about and thinking I am a miserable being. (Initiate to do some mopping instead so that your roommate will think you useful for a change.)

unrelated side note: Sims 3 World Adventures is an instant remedy for boredom-depression. And damn eater of time.