Friday, February 20, 2009

the CYNIC strikes again

It seems the cynical side of me has a penchant to surface whenever I witness sartorial disasters ... Welcome Huan teh Cynic.

Case A in point: A middle-aged lady who begs for attention. Visually. Picture this - a semi-transparent chiffon blouse which showcases her electric-blue bra perfectly. Brown leggings which hugs (passionately tight) her and highlights her cellulite-filled thighs. Moving down, we see normal casual strappy sandals, but WAIT. What's that? It looks like a riot of colours, randomly and unstrategically placed on each foot to render a gaudy and dorky circus-look to her feet. The culprit in question is a pair of unsightly, garishly coloured socks paired with sandals. If you look into the hidden book of sartorial rules, sandals and socks never, ever, ever, ever, happen together. Never in a good way, except in heaven-born miracles. More on the socks - the base is of a dirty mustard colour, and each toe is coloured a tawdry version of a random colour in the rainbow.
Imagine it.
Now puke. (I am mean.)
Please take note that I only caught sight of her for a mere one minute, and the absurdity of it all seeped into my brain and claimed a permanent spot. Involuntarily. There's more to it! The lady in question was also holding this oversized clutch bag that was entirely monogrammed with LVs (it was also in the signature brown characteristic of Louis Vuitton bags). I've never seen an LV handbag that big in my life, nor do I deign to believe it exists in the catalog of this French luxury brand. That aside, I'm not chiding her for not being able to own a genuinely branded bag. I just think it's ostentatious to pretend to have one, especially if one thinks the bigger the bag, the more bling bling goody it is.

Case B in point: Any one of the random Singaporeans wearing mass-produced (usually in stock factory colours) tank tops with mass-produced mini pants (usually khaki or denim) together with plastic flip-flops. There is this sameness to most females in the crowd because they have decided that Singapore's weather is too hot for better-looking clothes (I agree with Jiani that Shanghai has way better-dressed people T_T).

Huan the Cynic says ...
To death with both. It's either tried too hard (A), or didn't try at all (B).
I am just plain mean, but Simon Cowell is meaner.

P.S. I still see no signs of the stated elegance leng claims my writing has. mehss

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